How Things in the Universe Work
by Tootsie Roll 101
Summary: Hide and Kaneki finally realize their feelings for each other and act upon them. One shot/Fluffy PWP.


**A/N: Hola, everyone! I wrote this little ficlet during the summer for one of my friends and decided approximately 1 week ago that I should publish it because, well, why not? I apologize for my rather creative names for Hide and Kaneki's boy bits, but they were too hilarious to take out. Kaneki and Hide have always been one of my favorite ships ever since** **I started watching Tokyo Ghoul, so it was a pleasure to write a story featuring the two of them. I warn you, this is largely a porn-without-plot fic (though it does have a few bits of fluff sprinkled about). I'd like to dedicate this to my favorite white boy tennis playing president out there for making me watch the best anime in the world! The story takes place in a world where Tokyo Ghoul virtually never happened; imagine Kaneki and Hide blissfully together, unaware of the CCG or even ghouls for that matter. It would be greatly appreciated if you could review and/or favorite!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul or the characters within its universe.**

Kaneki gaped. "W-what are you doing?" he croaked, a look of disbelief shadowing his features. Standing before him was a completely naked man. An attractive completely naked man.

Hide brandished his cock which was already glistening and slick with cum. "This is going to be messy," Hide grinned. He gently took Kaneki's hand into his own and guided it onto his aching dick. "Do you trust me?"

Kaneki hesitated, then nodded. He knelt to the ground. Was this actually happening? He had always secretly toyed with the idea of having sex with Hide, but the fact that the actual event was unfolding before his own eyes was surreal to say the least. Hide's thick sword bobbed in front of Kaneki's head, yearning for something-or, rather, someone-to feed it the attention it craved. Kaneki was ready to step up to the plate, and his mouth slowly enveloped his best friend's yogurt slinger. The sizable 9 inches on his tongue was just enough to sate Kaneki's hunger, he thought to himself. He blushed, embarrassed to be thinking such a dirty thing. What was he? A gay sex addict with a libido the size of an elephant? Kaneki couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness and then proceeded to choke on Hide's dick.

Hide let out a shaky groan, twitching in Kaneki's mouth. "Oh, fuck yes." Kaneki didn't have any sort of experience with this kind of stuff except a folder of illegal online videos and the gossip he had collected from buddies who had had blowjobs from the girlfriends in the past. Swish and flick, he chanted in his mind. The mantra would have to make do for now, seeing as he had yet to come up with any new blowjob techniques.

Up and down, up and down, up and down. Each time Kaneki made his way across the length of Hide's weapon of ass destruction, he would go a little farther; he had now reached the base, his nose brushing against wiry pubic hairs. The porridge gun was now snugly cocooned in Kaneki's throat. "Fuck, I'm so close," Hide moaned.

Kaneki found himself realizing he would do anything to make Hide's first gay blowjob a memorable experience. Hide was rather learned concerning matters of a more carnal nature, always poking fun at Kaneki for being the innocent virgin. He fondly recalled 4th grade: Hide had been the first boy in the class to have kissed a girl. The notches on Hide's belt had only multiplied from there. But this time, each were just as inexperienced as the other. Being with another man was a fresh adventure for both of them. He gripped the globes of Hide's finely shaped ass as he swallowed the scorching hot cum shooting down his throat, moans of ecstasy faint in the background.

Hide groaned and pulled his quickly softening disco stick out of Kaneki's mouth, flopping back onto the bed. The room was silent for a good five minutes, save for heavy breathing. Kaneki leaned against the bedpost. His mind was racing—what the _fuck_ just happened? He had just given a blowjob to the man he had been best friends with since childhood. He had just had a _dick_ in his _mouth_. He had _enjoyed_ it.

A voice interrupted his thoughts. "I didn't even last ten seconds. How the fuck are you so good at this?" Hide suddenly straightened back up, his face lined with suspicion. "You aren't seeing any other guys are you?"

Kaneki blinked. "No, just you."

Hide broke out into a smile. "So we're seeing each other, then?"

Kaneki felt his cheeks start to heat up. "Uh, um, yeah I guess so," he breathed out, the corners of his mouth pulling upwards.

Sticking out his hand, Hide helped Kaneki back up onto his feet. "Come here," he said softly. He leaned forward, his lips brushing Kaneki's and trailing down his chin. Firmly pressing kisses onto his newfound lover, Hide dotted the underside of Kaneki's jaw all the way to his collarbone. Meeting the collar of the green sweater that Kaneki was wearing, Hide frowned. "This has to come off."

Kaneki lifted up his arms as Hide tugged off the piece of clothing standing in their way. Hide's eyes roamed Kaneki's chest, and he couldn't help but bite his lip in frustration—sexual frustration. His fingers skimmed up and down Kaneki's toned chest, stopping at the nipples that had now become akin to pebbles. His bowed his head and darted his tongue out to greet the areoles. Kaneki whimpered. Who knew nipples could be so sensual? And then there were teeth biting down on the nub on his left pec, twisting in a way that was almost inhumanly euphoric. By now Hide's wing dang doodle had had time to recover and was ready to rise and shine.

"Please don't stop," Kaneki pleaded, his eyes squeezing shut.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll enjoy what I'm going to do next," Hide muttered. Dipping downwards, he carefully unzipped the khaki pants Kaneki was wearing and tugged. A fat heat-seeking moisture missile came springing forward, nearly smacking Hide in the face—not that that would have been a bad thing. Hide pulled Kaneki down onto the bed and flipped him over with ease. "Spread your asscheeks wide for me, you little slut."

Kaneki felt his face flame red at the sound of the dirty words coming out of Hide's lips. The pit inside of his groin ached, the sensation unfamiliar yet very much arousing. He hesitated, then opened his mouth. "Take me," he begged, desperate. "Take me with your big mayo shooting hotdog gun! I-I don't want to be a virgin anymore."

Hide confidently took this as a sign of consent and plunged his meter long king kong dong into the puckered asshole before him. "Where's your lube, you filthy whore?" Hide demanded, both amusement and frustration dancing in his sentences. The tiny hole would start to chafe his dick any minute now, and the friction was becoming painful for the both of them. Kaneki snapped out of his lustful daze and nodded to the right. There on the nightstand was a conveniently placed tube of KY Jelly. One could only imagine how many times Kaneki had used it before, dreaming of what was actually happening right now. Hide momentarily pulled out of Kaneki. He lathered his dick with a handful of the lubricant before returning to pounding the life out of Kaneki's body.

"Do you know how many mornings I've wasted touching myself to fantasies of you begging underneath me? Thousands, Kaneki. I'll never get that time back. What a naughty little boy you are," Hide growled. "And tell me, what happens to naughty little boys?"

Kaneki felt his throat go dry and his face heat up. He didn't dare open his mouth this time. Thinking about these kind of things in the black twilight of lonely nights was one thing. Admitting it aloud in front of his best friend was quite another.

"They get punished," Hide answered for him.

The purple-helmeted warrior of love that was currently making its way around Kaneki's butthole slammed in and out, the sound of flesh on flesh filling the room. "Fucking _shit_ , Kaneki," he growled. "You feel so goddamn good around my venomous throbbing python of love." He pumped in and out of Kaneki's ass, his pace quickening by the second.

"Don't stop, don't ever stop," Kaneki rasped. He could feel Hide's thunder sword moving inside him, stretching him until the pleasure began to override the pain.

Hide's hips snapped against his gay lover; he licked his hand and reached down, beginning to fondle Kaneki's twitching baloney pony. "You like that, huh?" Hide smirked, voice husky. A faint moan followed in response as he continued to jerk the pleasure pump in his hand.

The overload of physical contact sent Kaneki into a semi-consciousness where pleasure, pain, and reality were are all starting to blend together. "Oh god," he shouted. "Yes, Hide!" And then he was coming, baby making potion squirting all over the mattress in a sticky white mess.

The sound of his name in his lover's mouth sent Hide into a frenzy, combined with the clenching of muscles around his womb broom during Kaneki's orgasm. His rhythm against Kaneki's ass began to grow erratic, their former synchronization now forgotten and consumed by a hungry fervor. There was the telltale tightening of his balls, and then he was coming, flashes of black and white and all colors flying behind his eyelids.

The snap back to the real world was jarring after their small bubble of pleasure popped. Hide wiggled his lap lizard out of Kaneki, feeling as completely sore and tired as he had anticipated. He turned over onto his back, pulling Kaneki close. "That was fun."

Kaneki breathed a laugh, too tired to actually say anything. He glanced up. Hide's eyes were dark and hooded, clouded with the haze of sex and something else he couldn't quite identify. Before Kaneki could stop himself, he skated his fingers across Hide's lips. They puckered underneath his touch, soft and pink. Kaneki could feel puffs of air on his nose in time with their breathing. It was comfortably intimate: Kaneki tucked into Hide's chest, fingertips tracing the slopes and ridges of the man before him.

"What brought upon all of this?" Kaneki asked. He felt quite small just then, and rather nervous actually. What if this was just a one time thing? Merely a release of sexual frustration and stress? His heart heaved with the possibility of losing what he had just finally gotten. Hide broke their stare, his eyes darting down to the space between them.

The room was thick with silence. "I noticed the way you look at me. And... to be honest, I've been wanting to do this for a long time." Hide looked down at the man who was in his arms. A sudden surge of affection poured out of his heart, his feelings warm and gooey. "You're my best friend. When I'm with you it's like the clouds disappear and birds break out in flight, chirping those annoying love ballads that always wake me up. Except it's not so annoying anymore."

Kaneki's breath caught, and he closed his eyes.

"You make me laugh and I make you laugh and that's how things in this universe work. The earth is round and the sun rises every morning and I love you, Kaneki Ken."

Somewhere deep inside of himself Kaneki was dizzy with hyperventilation and panic, but at the moment he felt for the most part quietly content. Something about all of this felt strangely natural, his nerves and worries inexplicably _calm_. He thought he should be surprised at the words that next come out of his mouth, but he was in Hide's arms so he didn't. "I love you too."


End file.
